Wildman, Badass Billy G, and the Stickman (me) all went in for a drug test today. It was odd.
Wildman seemed a bit nervous. Evidently he doesn't like whizzing on command.
Badass Billy G made sure not to pee all morning so that he would really have to go.
Good old Stickman forgot all about the drug test, and decided the previous night to knock back some beer rather late into the night. Hmmmmm. Great idea. That's gonna be a darn fine sample they have there, I tell ya.
So we all get there, and of course we were all joking about it. But I don't think any of us expected it to be as weird as it ended up. At least, it ended up weird for me.
They call my name first, and I walk in.
I was told to empty my pockets, and open all the compartments of my wallet. I'm not sure how much test-fooling pee I could hold in my wallet, but hey...this lady was on top of things.
I was handed the little cuppie thing, and then told to wash my hands while the lady watched. Then I had to give the soap to her.
I did my thing in the cup.
When I opened the door, I hit her with it. Evidently she was listening to me pee. She needs to get a hobby.
Then she filled a couple of tubes with my stuff, and told me to follow her back into the bathroom so she could dump the rest out. Maybe she felt she needed mutual support or something.
Then we went back to the table with my pee on it, and she seals the vials. I was then told to verify it's my pee and sign the seal.
Huh?
So I looked at her and said I wasn't sure how to verify that it was mine. Then I asked if I could have a taste test.
OK, so she had no sense of humor. Oops.
I signed the seals.
We went back to the office.
And we all thought it was odd that we had to sign our pee.
***
And the vials were all warm feeling. Eeew.
