Killing Naked = Strange

So a naked man was shot dead after he refused to stop chewing off the face of another naked man.

Right next to a busy highway.

I guess if you're going to get killed by the police, you might as well do it in the weirdest way possible.

Late

I was fifteen minutes late to work this morning, because there was an accident right at my driveway.
The cops were parked alongside the other road of the corner (I live on a corner), so I was stuck.
One vehicle was actually knocked into my driveway.
The driver, an incredibly beautiful woman, was really down in the dumps.
Maybe it was her fault?  I don't know.
I talked with her a bit, and she was all teary-eyed after a while...so since that's not really my thing I just said "well, I guess I better get outta your way for when the cops talk to you".
After a while the police approached me and asked if I needed out of the driveway.  When I told them yes, they told Ms. Hotty-pants to move her busted up truck.
I found that to be rude.  They could have easily moved one of their cars from the other road.
She moved her truck, with pieces falling off it.
I drove to work.
Late.

I'll be picking pieces of her truck out of the yard for the night.  That's the only way to ensure the Gay (my car) doesn't get pelted with them when the caretakers mow the lawn next time.

Trip To Awesome's

Well.  What an adventure it was to get to Awesome's for Memorial Day.

I had been taking care of George and Sissy since Thursday night, so I had them in tow on the way down.

I gotta tell ya, Sissy is the most annoying passenger you could ever have in your vehicle...bar none.

But we all made it down there alive, which was lucky for Sissy.

Once down there, Awesome and I chilled like only we can.  Of course there was joking, talking, walking, and some wackiness that is only possible when us two crazy maniacs get together.

We spent some time getting her mp3 player working with audio books (pictured above), and we also diddled a bit with the e-book reader she got me for Christmas.

One of the coolest parts was going to buy lamp oil for the new lantern she got me.  It's incredibly cool!

Now I can chill on my deck with some old-school lighting, and relax.  Maybe in my last remnant of time as a smoker I can relax on the deck with a brewski and a smoke...oil lantern flickering away.  

It really is excellent, Awesome.  Thank you.

The trip home took forever because I was minding the speed limit (holiday weekend, mind you).  But I finally made it home and talked with Awesome on the phone about all kinds of things.

I also talked with the Ninja, but I bore her to sleep over the phone.  Literally.

Overall, it was another great visit.  I'm looking forward to the next time.

Bloomin' Good Time

Watching flicks outside is the greatest.

If you add beer, pizza, and a character named "Bang Bang", you'll have as good a time too.

Bang Bang urges you to watch her blow stuff up.

Crackling Away

If you don't mind a random collection of not-so-new movies, this site works great.

I've been crackling away between yesterday and today.

Resident Evil

Candyman

Rec

Rec2

Tonight I'm planning on watching some other cheesy horror flick with the Ninja!

Snake Charmer

Naggy and I took part in an 18 hole tournament.

We played incredibly well!

On one hole, 16 I think, I had to battle with a snake to get one of our team mate's balls.

At first I thought it was a fake, rubber snake. I hadn't come across a snake so large since moving to this area four years ago, so it certainly looked fake.

I hit it with my hat, and it sat still.  The second time I hit it with my hat, however, he lurched forward.

So I decided he could have the ball and we drove on to meet with the other guys.

Well, there was a guilt trip waiting for me, because the guy had gone through bushes for my balls several times...so we went back.

Mr. Snake was still there, staring at the ball.  I think he wanted to eat it or something.

I ran up and he perched into a striking stance, at which point I hit him again with my hat.

He jumped at me but missed, I got the ball, and ran back to the cart with the snake chasing after me.

He really wanted that ball.

We looked up the snake on Naggy's stupidphone and he started laughing his butt off.

It was a rattle snake.  Which might have explained why it was so brave.  I never heard a rattle or anything, but it said in the information we looked up that many times snakes will not rattle.

Rattle snake in northwest PA?  Kind of hard to believe.  So whether Rick is right or not, I can at least say I played excellent golf, and I beat up a really big snake.  I am just that cool.

The whole club house was talking about a big snake when we got back.  Of course Naggy bragged about how his partner was the baddest man alive.

I got tons of handshakes after the story was told.

After the tournament I hung out with Naggy for about a half hour, then went home.

Great start to a mini vacation, I tell ya!

Chaos

Both Gumber and I are living in utter chaos.

So we've started wrapping our heads in tin foil.

For some reason, it makes us feel better.

Scooter's Trip (Yesterday)

Ninja and LastName went with me to visit Awesome Marsha in a land far, far, away.
It's literally a land that smells like dog poo.
At least it did yesterday.

But I was happy with the company, the food, and the always-excellent walk.  Sure, it's a walk around the dregs of the town.  But it's a walk with Awesome...so the walk itself is awesome.

She gave me a bunch of supplies for George and Sissy.

She gave me a sweet case for my pimp-daddy phone.

She oogled over LastName, like all women do. (Women, what's up with them?  The kid makes poops that will make your head spin and y'all just yum him up.)

It was a great visit.

Coming later this week:  The feline chronicles.  Though their probably won't be a "tag" named that, the news is: the cats are coming home to the Stick Man.

(Temporarily.)

We are gonna party like it's 1999 in 2012.

Oh yeah.

Thanks for the great visit, Awesome.

Saturday Morning Golf

After four seasons of golfing, I still hadn't been to this course.

So Willie and I decided to check it out.

It was a really good time.  We got plenty of sun.

I parred a hole (hole 8 I think), and the level of badness from Wednesday was still in effect.

So I'm still playing badly, but at a level I'm happy with.

On a somewhat cool sidenote, I was having trouble finding the course, so I decided to see if my stupidphone  could help.

The GPS worked really well.  I was finally impressed with something on it.

El-C Party Friday

I ran a search for El Canelo on google, and the below image was number one in the search results.  In keeping with the campy nature of this blog, I figured it was perfect for a party Friday post.

Z, Willie (a.k.a. Huggy Bear on my stupidphone), General Vic, Meep, and myself all went to El Canelo for PARTY FRIDAY.

The General and I both had tall Don Esquis.  And Willie and I both had huevos con chorizo.

Of course I had to go "stanky numba toooooo" as soon as I got home.

It was worth it.

Party Friday is the greatest.  And you know something?  It doesn't seem like it's going away anytime soon.

Golf League Week 1

The golf league started this week (Wednesday) with a big bang and some poop.

Even with the poop, it was a much better day for me than when I played on this day.

Super K was my partner, and he put up with me like a champ.

Even after I smelled like poop.

Yes, as I have at least once each year, I stepped in some kind of drippy, nasty, funky poop.

But the poop may have been the magic I needed.  I played like I hadn't in so long.  That means I played bad, but at least I was happy with the level of badness.

My night afterwards went poorly.  But the golf game was awesome.

I'm looking forward to each Wednesday.  It's a great way to blow off steam.

Hopefully next week I blow it ALL off.

Oh, and hopefully next week I can stay well away from poop.

Awesome Mom's Day Visit

This post is late.  But this was my excellent day hanging out.

Well, as always Awesome Marsha was...well...awesome.

It was really nice to go home and see her.

I actually have been missing home for the last couple of weeks.  No, not to the point of wanting to move back, but just to the point of wanting to be back.

And it's great to be around my family...which is Awesome Marsha.

Would ya' look at that?  As shown in the picture above, those shoe stores are everywhere.

They just let anyone open a store in that area, don't they?

Awesome's hat looked really good on me.

It looked so good in fact, that the person that made it for her is now making one for me.

I'll be the most handsome man with this kind of gear.  And I'm not kidding.

We did some serious fine dining at the local Chinese buffet.  I thought about trying the sushi, but abstained.

Awesome stayed away from that stuff too.

Oh yeah, I piled my plate(s) with some serious portions.  Which, of course, caused some discomfort later.

But hey, we went for a nice walk afterwards.  So I walked it off.

Good deal.

On our nice walk, Awesome came up with the idea of seeing if her old pre-paid phone would still work.

So we walked to the local Super Kmart and I bought a ten dollar phone card.

It was way easier to set up than the "stupidphone" I recently bought.

She gave me the phone as a backup.

I'm so cool, I have more than one phone.  Eat your hearts out.

We ended the visit with a film that was perfect for your bad movie collection.  With this movie, I almost felt it was a waste of time.  Almost.  But then again, gems like this are one in a million, so if you're a bad move fan...you simply must try this one out.

Convict 762 has awful acting.

Convict 762 has one of the poorest plots I've ever seen.

Convict 762 doesn't even have any gratuitous nudity to make the film at least more watchable.

(There is a "sex scene" in the film, but it's so disturbing it will give you nightmares.)

So yeah, Awesome and I partied it up.  I have missed her since.

It's not everyday you get the chance to be in the presence of awesomeness, so you appreciate it when it happens.

He Was Soooooo Tuckered Out...

...because Stickman wore him out.

LastName rocked, and then he slept.

That's how it goes for dudes.  We rock.

Then we sleep.

Nothing else needs said.

(Pic Was Taken Last Week)